Full Moon Fallout

I’ve been trying to figure out how to create a newsletter for the last week and found myself lost and confused and downright pissed off that I don’t know what I’m doing.  I need an assistant is what I’ve come to. πŸ˜‰

I’ve been wracking my brain.  Creating templates on a site I can’t figure out how to navigate and the reality is that I don’t currently have any content so it doesn’t really matter if I “master” the template.  And I find myself in a panic.  How many of you know that I have perfectionism tendencies? Don’t answer that. πŸ˜‰

If I can’t do it right or don’t have enough training or might not give you something of value I want to opt out.  Forget it…until I learn more…perfect my craft…know what I’m talking about.  It’s a direct contradiction to my free spirit, creative, intuitive-self, which leaves me in a state of push-pull sometimes.  I want to step in but I want to do it right and am left paralyzed and seeking more education to get me ready to get ready to finally step into my gifts. It’s exhausting to those who love me, I am sure.

In my crazy frenzy of overthinking I decided to do some research about this full moon in an attempt to have some content to add and lo and behold it answered the questions about my fallout.  This is a powerful moon!  The full moon in Sagittarius is pulling me to GO!, create, recognize my full potential, to step into my power and explore and see the bigger picture…yet it is exactly opposite the Sun, which happens to be in Gemini.  Guess what Gemini wants: Gemini wants the logistics, details and priorities.  So, the moon wants to go on a big, magical adventure and the Sun wants the details and to make a plan.  And to top it all off Jupiter is squared to Neptune, which creates a tension around what you want and how to get it. Is it any wonder I am feeling so ungrounded???

Not to mention my human design Profile is 1/3, which is the Investigator/Martyr profile.  This means that I am designed to research and know what I am speaking on before I open my mouth.  It also means that I learn by trial and error and that I must experience something to fully accept and understand it.

What does this all mean?  Well, for me it gives me permission to exhale and an understanding of why I have been struggling so hard.  Knowing my human design and how the Moon, Sun and Planets affect me is comforting and I realize there is no cause for alarm or dis-ease.  I will continue putting one foot in front of the other and trusting my inner knowing to lead me in the right direction.  Allowing my creative self to be present and giving thanks to my investigator for pushing me to keep learning and being curious.  I find my inner calm and now I can sleep.  A much needed rest from the stress I found myself in.

Sending love and restful sleep to you in this powerful moon energy.  Go on your adventure ~ I hope to meet up with you there!! πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–

For more information on the full moon:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QymnvKMJLQo&t=395s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx1qpBuP9po

For more information on Human Design and Profiles:
https://www.jovianarchive.com/
https://www.jovianarchive.com/Stories/18/Understanding_Your_Innate_Role_-_Why_Your_Profile_is_So_Important

Being in the Pause

I sit and listen to the silence.

It speaks volumes. This is The Pause. That place between.

Where the lessons are explained. Where the growth occurs. Where I now take the time to care for me in a way I never have. Where I listen to my body and what she is asking for.

Is it a walk, a nap, a bowl of popcorn, to cry, a call to a friend to ask for comfort? What do I need?

Today I honor the requests. What would I have done before? How much have I already grown and what is this Pause teaching me? I surrender to love. To the love of myself. I nurture me much differently than in days past. I am compassionate where I was once self-loathing, shaming and made myself wrong for feeling and for dreaming.

Today I let all the feels wash over me. They come in waves. Sadness, relief, anger, joy. It’s amazing what I am capable of feeling in a matter of seconds, minutes, hours. When I sit and listen and don’t avoid or numb.

There is a feeling of comfort here, in this Pause, because this time I am not alone. I am here for myself in a way I never have been. I show up for me. I do not abandon me. I honor me. I hold me. I love me. I respect me.

And I hold space for and honor The Pause, as well.

For here is where I discover my greatest strengths and unwrap the gifts that the experience that brought me to this moment is offering. Here is where I strengthen my love affair with myself. Here is where I shine just a little brighter. I will remain in The Pause until I am ready. I am not afraid of it anymore. I welcome it and thank it for its presence and the presents it will bring.

Aho! πŸ’–

~Tamar Olivia